that she is "like, so gay," the 26-year-old actress didn't mean to diminish the love they shared."I didn't talk about my first relationships that went public because I wanted things that are mine to be mine," she tells .It would be silly to say I don’t care what people think of my work and who I am, but stuff is polarizing, period.” Further recalling what it was like when she became an overnight A-lister thanks to her role as Bella Swan in the book-turned-movies, Stewart adds, "I used to try too hard, because I was nervous. I’ve just grown out of it." In an exclusive interview with ET in October, Stewart also opened up about how she's come to deal with being in the public eye."I think it takes a minute to sort of acclimate to communicating with so many people at one time, with like, 'the masses,' you know," she shared.It was an opportunity to surrender a bit of what was mine, to make even one other person feel good about themselves."Since going public with her subsequent relationships, Kristen reflects that in an ideal world, while she "would have kept [her] life private forever," she was ultimately confronted with the choice of not being able to "walk outside holding somebody’s hand, as I’m followed everywhere" or not being able to be fully present in a relationship."When I was dating Rob, the public were the enemy—and that is no way to live," she adds.
“It would take someone with a really unhealthy amount of ego to be upset that everyone doesn’t love them." but rather a realization of an opportunity to let fans and critics alike possibly see themselves and their lives reflected back through her and her own relationships.Most important, she says she's anything but scarred from the amount of attention — positive and negative, personal and professional — she received as a result of blowup as being generally traumatic.The 26-year-old actress shared that she "didn’t talk about my first relationships that went public because I wanted things that are mine to be mine.I hated it that details of my life were being turned into a commodity and peddled around the world." But as she's gotten older — and experienced firsthand more of the positive and negative sides to superstar levels of fame — she has realized that relationship struggles are a universal experience, and they affect "a greater number of people than just me."I hated it that details of my life were being turned into a commodity and peddled around the world.