The soap hardman appeared on Channel Four's Very British Problems to dish the dirt on his teen antics.But the actor soon lowered the tone as he recounted his first foray into masturbation alongside the queen of pop."My first w*** was Madonna, I was a big fan of Madonna," he confessed."So it wasn't the girls in school, I think my first pedal was over Madonna, mid-eighties when she was fit." Now you may be thinking that the Rebel Heart legend's recent Met Gala ensemble, which flashed both boob and booty with cut-out panels, must have got Danny hot under the collar.Tracy Lauren opened her phone bill last week and nearly had a coronary.There, in black and white, was a long list of collect charges from Montreal totally a whopping ,000.But she doesn’t speak to anyone in that city, and neither does her partner.It must be some mistake, she figured, and called Rogers to complain.I arrived an hour late, and as we were loading her luggage into the trunk of my '94 Volvo, it stalled out, so we were stuck waiting in the front seat until it would start again. I asked her about her vacation (she lived in Hong Kong, so any story was interesting), and told her about mine. In the darkness I fumbled for my keys and tried the ignition again; the car started and we headed for our college.