Not to mention that in the rare and precious moments I do have to myself, it feels like a major risk to spend that time with someone I might never see again rather than catching up with friends, reading, zoning out to Netflix, or, you know, sleeping.
The men I’d normally take an interest in are often just starting their careers, still in undergrad, or staying out until 3AM every chance they get—whereas I’m living the opposite lifestyle, and as a party of two, not one. In spite of this barrage of challenges, I still have hope.
If you are looking for a potential long-term partner, as many of us single moms are, then I hope these words find you: If you approach dating from a place of scarcity, insecurity and neediness, then you will never, and I mean never, find a date and/or partner who will treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve.
Whenever I sought out a man to save me, I rushed into a relationship without taking reasonable time to get to know his intentions and character.
Jenn Mann, host and lead psychotherapist of VH1’s “Couples Therapy with Dr.
Jenn,” and author of For better results when checking out prospects online, “focus on characteristics, qualities, and life desires,” adds Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, clinician and author of the relationship wellness blog, That means that if they didn’t bother to include those interests in their profile, they’re probably not worth a date.
If you’re a single mom looking for some dating advice made specifically for you, check out our 10 Best Dating Blogs for Single Moms.It’s hard being a single mom and some of us fear we are less desirable to men as a result.Couple that insecurity with many of us in our 30s, 40s and 50s who may also have a tragically misguided and distorted sense of urgency to find a mate before becoming too old and accept an obscenely low standard of treatment as a result.There are plenty, like me, who are blissfully lacking in life experience, have yet to reach the big 3-0, and spend more time swiping left on Tinder instead.Real talk: Considering the 200 different directions I’m pulled in each day—which include working full time; waking up with my six-month-old daughter at ungodly hours; cooking; cleaning; carpooling; bathing; co-parenting; dealing with temper tantrums; and still attempting to take care of myself—the mere of dating can sometimes seem nothing short of impossible.Without self-esteem and self-worth, the single mother lacks the ability to create the healthy dating boundaries and standards required to discern between a quality partner and a predatorial player.