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Some amount of post-hookup regret is indeed common.

For example, in a small Canadian undergraduate sample, 72% of men and 78% of women who had a one-night stand or sex with someone known less than 24 hours reported experiencing some level of regret about their hooking up (4).

Everyone used to work hard, play hard, but the ones still employed are too afraid of getting sacked to have latenights.

8 p.m.: Friend comes over to pregame with my bottles from Trader Joe’s (hey, I’m laid off), and we thank God for unemployment insurance because it pays us to live in our expensive luxury apartments with no income.

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Similarly, as the graph above shows, in the Northeastern study of female students, regret was well the mid-point of the scale for both romantic and casual sex (3).

4 p.m.: Attempts to go the gym prove futile as hangover from last night manifests itself in every way.

Make plans for the night and convince another ex-banker to hit the bottle with me.

This endearing manwhore with a heart of gold just wants someone to love him-- and to accept his poly, slutty, experimental, not-so-distant sexual history.

Will he figure out why women will take him to bed but not to dinner? Billy Procida is a stand-up comedian in New York City.

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