The next morning (or even that night) come the recriminations: Was it wrong to give that person the sexual green light when you had no intention of rekindling the emotional side of the relationship?
Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.
" At first, her disclosure strikes you as too much information.
But then it gets you thinking: You're single, too — what could be so bad about a casual night in bed with someone you like but don't love?
We’ve tested the big sites, as well as some promising newcomers.It has felt a bit strange, then, that the article which inspired Stitch doesn’t appear on the Stitch blog.We thought it was high time we republished it here, updated to reflect what we’ve learned from the thousands of people who have registered for Stitch so far and told us their stories. We are all living decades longer than we once did, and are staying fitter, healthier (and in some cases, friskier) further into our wisdom years than ever before.Count the increasing numbers of older women who want to date but are not interested in remarrying (the Pew points to a gender gap there), and you get a picture of seniors swarming the dating sites.Still, while the headlines want us to believe that hundreds of thousands of seniors are happily engaged in online dating and finding our next partners via their profiles, would that it were that simple!With the obsession that today’s media has with youth and appearance, you could be forgiven for thinking that it’s only the young who are looking for companionship, that dating is a young person’s game. Which of the following images do you think the media is more likely to use to accompany an article on online dating? At the same time, more older adults over 55 find themselves single and looking, either through divorce or the tragic loss of a husband or wife they loved for many years.