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Among the men I am meeting both via online or when out at a bar, I've got single dads, young guys, creepy men, and lifelong bachelors inching their way into my section of the dating pool.

The creepy men are an absolute no, and the lifelong bachelors are just as frustrating as they were when I was single, before my divorce.

You might think that change shouldn’t have a significant effect on the qualities I look for in a woman, but it absolutely does.

Almost any potential mate can handle a child that is not their own coming to visit four days a month.

In the four years since the birth of my daughter and the end of my relationship with her mother, I have done some dating.

Most of that dating was fairly casual, but I have been in a couple relationships—the most recent and most serious of those relationships having lasted just under two years. Or at least I realize now looking back on it just how easy it was.

Below are the top three ways you can psych yourself out of the game and how to play them to your advantage instead. Foul 1: Baby talk Yes, your date should know you are a single parent.

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And perhaps our unfinished wounding might keep us from starting the dating process again. The Spark Is Only a Start If the chemistry (tail wag) is ON, there are still a ton of steps along the path before we’re in a relationship. (If I’m a reader and you’re a reality tv junkie, we might not go the distance.) We need to synchronize our schedules over time. If we do decide to sleep together I want to know that we’ve just become mutually exclusive.

Aaron, a single dad of two, wondered if an extra two would make three a crowd for his date, Natalia, a single woman with no kids. I'm a dad of two." Natalia recoiled a bit, mostly due to Aaron's instant change in behavior from clever and cavalier to uncomfortable.

Foul 2: Nobody likes me As a parent, you may feel like other singles don't want to date you, but cut out that 'woe is me' act!

It can blur your vision when trying to figure out if you want to hang with this person for the long run. I’m Looking for 100% Pure Connection Half my life is behind me. I could see myself eyeing their bodies and trying to imagine the sex, but I stopped myself, pretty quickly, even with the fantasizing. Today, I’m even getting pretty stingy with first dates. I want my next relationship to start out with the potential going the long distance. At our age kids are either a choice you made or one you didn’t. Brutally Honest If it’s not a fit on the first date I’m going to try to let you know as gently and as quickly that it wasn’t a fit. And, in fact, feelings can be scary for both men and women.

And nothing against the non-parents in the group, but I’m so wrapped up with my kids, that if you don’t have that same passion and joy, we’re probably going to have to look for things to have engaging conversations about. I think that initial attraction is something that we can’t really control or completely predict, but I also don’t think we can do without it. But as we begin navigating our time together we’ve got to be able to talk about whatever we’re feeling.

It isn’t that big of a disruption in day-to-day life.

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