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- he later asks her: 'Have you ever heard of a man called Robert Louis Stevenson? The Soulmates say they want love, but they lack the charm to secure it. Saucy-Pedant meets someone who has 'lots of interesting anecdotes about travelling in Asia', but, she later discovers to her horror, 'the table [in his kitchen] was Formica' - as if that's only a notch above Fred West's basement.

' Global_Gadabout duly freaks out, for she has been wronged. ' she wails, with all the thwarted melodrama of Jane Eyre discovering Rochester has a mad wife in the attic. Even when they like their dates, they are insufferable.

It tells you how to write a pouting profile, how to juggle 42 men before lunch and how to avoid psychos, liars and bores.

Rather, you want them to stay lonely and eventually, in the words of that iconic dater Bridget Jones, 'be eaten by dogs'. (That is another irritating thing about Soulmates - they are all too suspicious to give their real names to potential lovers so they have unfunny online pseudonyms like Empty The Bin or Buy Me AFuse or Kill Me Now.) Global_Gadabout (36, female) is a typical Soulmate.

It was the usual, Friday afternoon internet surf: half an hour spent scouring blogs, trying to track down some new recipes. As it turns out, Eater Dating is the brainchild of bar and restaurant site Eater and the online dating site How About We.

As I scrolled down the Eater page a banner ad on the right side caught my attention -- impressive, given my usual blindness to anything that looks like advertising -- "Eater Dating." A site completely devoted to online dating for foodies? The difference from regular online matchmaking services?

They spend weekends on each other's narrow boats drinking Rioja and going to see movies about Albanian peasants growing vegetables.

You can only take so many discussions about the merits of sparkling water and urban wineries.But dogs also herd the sheep together, either to drive them off a ledge or, more commonly, pen them into a corner.The more the sheep are corralled, the more panic- stricken they become and they begin to trample and smother each other, often resulting in their deaths – a process that may take as little as a few minutes." I'll stop there, since "Pick up Lines for Foodies" is a whole other column waiting to happen. Jamie Oliver has his own dating site, in collaboration with Even Ok Cupid has a foodie test, because god forbid you put "foodie" on your online profile and don't actually fit the correct description.Love in the Countryside will screen on BBC Two and follow eight singletons living and working in the country.

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