What if you can’t completely cut off contact because you have children together, run a business together, or work together? If your ex wants to know how you’re handling the breakup? And you know what they say—what comes around goes around. And depending on the size of the city you live in, a post-breakup run-in with your ex is not only possible, it’s probable. Bumping into him does not mean that the two of you are meant to be together. A word of warning when you’re in post-breakup mourning: DO NOT seek comfort in the arms of your ex. Instead, recruit a support system from your inner circle of friends, preferably friends who have your best interests at heart and won’t report back to your ex on your progress and setbacks. Then shut the door on any and all opportunities to help each other heal following the breakup.Doesn't this sound uncomfortably similar to the fighting of marital partners as they are breaking up?Negative Relationship Patterns Negative relationship patterns are the reoccurring interactions that form the basis of ongoing complaints. Just as you deserve to heal and move on, so does your ex. Avoid Being Each Other’s Crutch You loved, you lost, you’re now in mourning. If your ex calls, emails, texts, or stops by seeking comfort for his broken heart? Instead, kindly but firmly let him know that you are no longer his go-to support system.Rather than become a shut-in out of fear of your ex encounter, embrace the possibility and plan for it. In fact, your ex encounter will probably be a lot less dramatic than this scenario. In bumping into your ex, you may be reminded of what you loved about him or her. Instead, summon that inner strength, smile politely, and extricate yourself from the situation as soon as is possible without being rude.It is easy to want to compare yourself to your ‘replacement’ and wonder what he sees in her, but the reality is that you’ll probably never know and you’re burning up energy better used elsewhere.
Stop Comparing Yourself to the New Love Interest Your ex’s new beau may seem younger, smarter, more accomplished or more attractive.
Deciding to take such an unconventional step needs to be done carefully since there are many ramifications for children and friends.
You wouldn't want to get children's hopes up, and your choice can confuse friends who have accepted your accounts of the divorce that typically frame the ex-spouse in a less-then-positive light.
But the reality is that it’s probably not going to happen like that and it’s a littttttle bit childish.
Does it really matter which one of you starts dating first and does it that he’s dating?
But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? By remaining in each other’s lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to heal and move on quickly (and without additional heartache). This is actually one of the single most important steps you can follow during your breakup recovery. No Online Ex-Bashing After a breakup, it’s only natural to feel some residual anger, resentment, bitterness, etc.