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A quick disclosure: I have a couple of dating profiles online. But this isn't therapy masquerading as a self-pitying article by some bloke in his late-thirties – well, not much, anyway.

Those words of wisdom still apply, and particularly so if you're one of those participating in the seemingly eternal worry-go-round of internet dating.

The adverts for such services, featuring blissfully happy couples pushing each other on swings, would have us believe otherwise.

I laser-beamed him with my eyes and yelled out my usual “How are you?! “Uh, yes,” I stammered, unsure of what to make of this.

” He paused for a moment, staring at me bewilderedly and scratching his fluffy, mad-professor hairdo. Twenty minutes later, he was still going strong on a breathless diatribe about how the students’ inferior grasp of basic stats and unbearably messy datasets were contributing to his ever-increasing workload.

The latest season of Catfish: The TV Show premieres in the UK on Wednesday 8 March on MTV, with fans excited to see what Nev and Max have in store for them next.

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