So the only way you really can empathize is to know their side of the story.Men and women are different in many ways, but we’re more the same than you may think. We all have dating disappointments and horror stories.Just like how you’ve dated your share of challenging types of men like the Pinger, the Couch Potato and the older-and-balder-than-his-profile-guy…men also meet and enter into relationships with less-than-impressive types of women.I’ve talked to countless single men over the years about their experiences with women, especially those in their 40s, 50s and beyond.Advertisement What makes online dating so frustrating isn’t the exaggeration, it’s that you’re participating in a depressing hierarchy of desirability — a daisy chain of quiet rejection. We have the luxury of being less goal-oriented, the same way we’ve learned to be about sex.You spend part of your time trying to recover from, and make sense of, all these potentially lovely people who won’t give you the time of day, then the rest flicking off people in whom you have no interest. In theory, though, it should at least be less uncomfortably urgent for those of us of a certain age: somewhere between the first biological clock (gotta reproduce! We can treat the process itself — the search, the exchange of messages, the one-off dinners — as intellectually intriguing, diverting, amusing, and perhaps even a path toward self-knowledge.
Are they unknowingly putting up guards that turn men off?In terms of attraction, when you connect deeply at this level, attraction can grow. Ladies, you can’t do anything about the men who want a midlife-crisis-Barbie-Doll.So stop looking for super hot chemistry and butterflies when you first meet. Ignore those men, and seek out the guys who want a relationship with someone they can relate to. Truly.◊♦◊Guys, if you’re comparing all the women you date to your ex, or you’re still blaming her for your problems, please get therapy and work this stuff out.So I thought I’d tell you about the experience men have when they’re trying to “date like a grownup.” If you’ve read my e Book, you know that I believe strongly that empathizing with men is absolutely essential to your dating and relationship success.The definition of empathy is “the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings.How women present themselves is a topic about which I can speak more knowledgeably.