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For them, attraction, love, chemistry and the whole kit and caboodle have a foundation in something of nothing. What you don’t realise if you’re relying on ‘instant’ or very quick attraction, is that you’re saying that you can be attracted to and even fall in love with someone that you don’t know, but that you couldn’t become attracted to and fall in love with someone that you grew to know. You can fall in love with the promise, but you couldn’t fall for the reality?

You fire off an email to them or if they’ve already made contact with you, you eagerly reply, feeling excited at possibly meeting just the type of person you’re looking for.Out in the real world, you go on first dates and if you don’t feel a ‘spark’ and a ‘connection’, are immediately or by the end of the date, mentally saying “Sayonara” and bracing yourself to continue your quest.Or you feel disheartened that you still haven’t met that ‘someone’ with that ‘spark’…that you can also actually manage to have a relationship with.We wish we could be attracted to that “good” guy or “good” girl, but the thrilling, not-so-good-for-us mates are always the ones that steal our hearts.Is it possible to cultivate sexual chemistry, or attraction, for a person that we really like, but aren’t sure if we feel that sexual chemistry with?If you were raised on rom-coms and the idea of "love at first sight," having a "spark" with a potential love interest seems like a no-brainer.

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