Dating again at 45

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In fact, nearly 60 percent say they make better decisions about compatibility now compared to when they were younger. Be the master of the segue if he talks too much, or the conversation swerves into uncomfortable topics. Show up to your dates open, happy and being your already charming self.

Some 42 percent have better quality dates, and 52 percent say part of the allure of dating in the 50s is the absence of the tick-tock of the biological clock. But every day I coach women like you through situations they wish they didn't get into. Make sure you get to talk about yourself in a meaningful way as well. It will bring out the best in him and insure that you both have the best time possible. I Love You, there is something valuable to learn from every date.

More than 40 percent said they were considering it, but not actually doing it.

So what’s the thing about dating that bothers you most? All the good ones are taken…check this out: If you live anywhere near a major metro area, and are looking for a man over 40, 5’8” or taller, college educated, non-smoking, making a higher than median income…statistics say that there are over 2000 of these guys within 20 miles of you looking for love online. As long as you let yourself believe that your lack of connection with a good man is about T-H-E-M…then you don’t have to take responsibility. DO NOT tell me that in the first 10 minutes of meeting a man you can know that he is a potential suitor or life partner. Quick judgments are often more about you than the man sitting in front of you.

I did it for about 30 years and I experienced all the hurt, confusion, frustration, hopelessness, boredom, and exhaustion that comes with it. There are about 45 million single men over the age of 35 in the United States, about 7 million in Britain and 2 million in Australia. And before you say…but, Bobbi, these aren’t quality men. If you’re like I used to be as a single gal, it’s because it gives you permission to stay the same and stay single. Unless he spits when he talks, smells, or is drunk; give him a chance.

Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won't be a second date.

It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Start off with the positive and try to stay in mode before you decide he’s not right for you.

You have to work hard to find someone you really want and really like – or, as one married male friend put it, “someone normal” (apparently normal men are in short supply).

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