This overly competitive nature oftentimes causes tension in their personal relationships.
“Love and competition are oil and water, they do not mix,” Dr. He offers the following advice for competitive people who want to overcome their need to compete, and learn to relax and enjoy what they have.
you’d find another option (which would be readily available) and move on to greener pastures.
You have value, he sees that and he knows that if he wants to keep you around, he needs to show up in the relationship and keep you happy.
It comes from a realization: relationships are not tangible, concrete “things” like a purse or car or stone.
The overwhelming feeling among many women is that they are not enough, and it’s just not possible to be truly radiant when you feel this way. When you feel like you are not enough, it’s easy, and very possible, for you to start feeling upset or defeated over your perception that another woman has everything you don’t, at every little external trigger. The slightest trigger and you succumb to the feeling of low self worth. Stop comparing yourself to every other woman whom you may think is prettier, higher status, smarter, or who has a better body, and start comparing yourself to nothing. The secret to beating female ‘competition’ is knowing that the competition is not ; it’s hopelessness. To ‘compare’ yourself to Miss A or B is to drive yourself to a dead end. The key is to focus on what you can do, and what you can control.
(Click here to take the quiz on “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook? Most women deal with the feeling that they are not enough by acting pitiful, controlling their man, acting and feeling inferior (almost as if their existence is not meant to be), expecting to (and letting people) treat them badly, bitching about (or actively trying to destroy) other women who are a ‘threat’, making the people around them suffer by doing depression, getting bigger boobs, shoes with a bigger price tag, blonder or faker hair, bigger and more plastic lips… While you your competition is that woman over there; your real competition is actually just hopelessness – unempowered, sitting on the couch, feeling undeserving, and thinking that she has no control or power over the situation. This is why it’s important you have high standards. You can always contribute more, give more, love more, live more and be more. Work daily to become better than you were yesterday. Have you had any bad experiences with competitive women you can tell us about?
Your competition really is not Jan, or Hannah, or Sarah, or Miss stuck-up. Most people try to feel certain and avoid disappointment by feeling as though they could never ‘compare’. Speaking of working to become the better you, click here to visit the list of our programs. Do you often find yourself comparing yourself to other women? My name is Renee, and let me quickly tell you what I believe…I believe you have the power to attract your ideal man, have him fall head over heels in love with you, wanting to commit deeply to you and have the passionate relationship you’ve always dreamt about.
While it’s totally normal to occasionally feel envious of, say, his LSAT score or the ease in which he approaches job interviews, persistent jealousy can point to deeper-rooted issues of insecurity.
If you feel competition brewing, simply saying something like straightforward like, “I get the sense we’re in competition with each other. ” will start the conversation and help illuminate red flags, says Isadora Altman, a San Francisco-based relationship therapist.2. Figuring out your unique strengths and using them to benefit the both of you can help you see each other as a team.
Don’t compete with siblings, rather, enjoy their accomplishments.