But I wondered if finding those connections is as easy for women with children as it is for those without.If, heaven forbid, I suddenly found myself single, would my profile today be as appealing to a potential partner as it was in 2007 when I didn't have 3-year-old twins attached to my hips?After a few dates with a new man, the inevitable would happen: "You will be such a great mom."Baffled, I'd then be left with my gabbling mouth (I'm not talented with the pithy response).Once again, I'm expected to say my scripted part, smile, and everyone will know exactly where they stand.I met wonderful, interesting men, who showed me parts of New York I hadn't known—all very rom-commy and joyful. However I put my disinterest in children, these men would eventually tell me how much wanted babies (more than one told me how beautiful I would look pregnant). So I took it a step further and explained how terrified I was, physically and mentally, to be pregnant, to care for needy small humans.But just like a formulaic movie plot, they all wanted kids. Age had something do with it: I was in my early 30s. And I would very nicely tell them they were dating the wrong woman, extricate myself, and move on. Two different, otherwise wonderful, handsome, and brilliant men said they "understood" after I opened up about my fears.Once your relationship becomes somewhat serious, try to get to know her son gradually, without attempting to rush or force the relationship or stepping in as a parental figure.Plan an outing that is fun and that requires minimal interaction.
Although Tinder sounded fun, there isn't a way for potential matches to know whether or not I have children before they decide to choose my photo.That is: All women want children—as one gynecologist told me, "That's what we're here for."But I don't want to.I stayed with my first serious boyfriend for seven years.When we broke up and I entered the NYC dating carousel, I was 30 and had no idea what I was doing.But, contrary to all the horror stories I'd heard, I had fun.Children (especially young children) quickly can become attached to someone new and, consequently, may be confused or hurt if the relationship ends.