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A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of girl’s boobs you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up boobs. Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting experience. Here’s an actual text a female friend of mine received from a guy WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK: There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

Now I know you’re excited and can’t wait to dive into your new world of textual exploration but slow down. The first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that’s a whole other set of issues.

“I reeeally need that memo by 2 p.m., can you skip lunch? A few extra As in “thaaanks” is polite, but too many in the wrong context suggests sarcasm. This is mostly because of the association with drunk people.

Cruel word-elongaters take advantage of this principle, often pairing passive-aggressive word elongation with bemused punctuation repetition. (Though drunkenness is not actually sexy, drunks are known to vocalize and act on sexual desires, creating halo-effect sexiness for their booty-call texting patterns.) At the end of a word, letter repetition suggests seductive murmuring or .

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Preliminary results from a study of about two dozen Parkinson's patients suggest that the researchers' algorithm for analysing keystrokes can distinguish people who have the disease from those who don't.

You might have a lot of matches, but do you know what to do with them?

This shows her you are not sitting by your phone on Tinder all day, but ensures that your message reaches her while she is still active.

“Add vowels,” I instructed, drawing from a vast knowledge of girls-night-out e-mail chains. The extra letters acknowledge that, though his message only requires six letters, his care is worth at least eight.

Short utterances can look lonely on a big, blank screen; extra letters fill the void and sound friendlier in your head.

It’s not even in the heat of sexting, it’s almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book.

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